I thought I will write about Hannah Clarke in this blog. I haven’t been myself since I heard about what happened last week with poor Hannah and her beautiful three young children. This has really taken me back a few steps.
I was actually in Brisbane, at the time, having treatment, which has been a weekly thing for me lately. But this news really hit home, and I feel like I have lost some of that enthusiasm for recovery and my mojo since. This is making me feel so ill and so sick, if I can say that.
I am trying to keep my mind busy to not think about how this could happen. How could a person do that to his wife and their three young kids that he was meant to love? This is incredible, unbelievable and it is totally uncalled for.
This brings me back to red flags in relationships, we have to learn to recognise them. When they display overly controlling behaviours, are overly suspicious by nature, or are overly critical all the time. These are red flags we need to be aware of.
There are other little red flags as well that I have experienced myself before. For example sending me flowers at work endlessly, and daily, was one. Who would have thought? Deleting contacts from my mobile was another.
I realise you don’t have to be physically hit to be in an abusive relationship. I never got hit until that fateful moment, just like Hannah. My perpetrator never swore in front of me, just like Hannah’s too. It is the sly things behind the scenes that a perpetrator do, the cumulative effects of these can cause a lot of pain.
But everyone should be able to say NO to abusive relationships. Hannah should have been able to say NO. Her perpetrator was meant to be their family’s protector. Yet he did the gutless thing and took his own life after destroying his family’s. And I apologise if I am sounding like I am protecting women because I am, but the statistics do show that it is more men hurting women than the other way around.
It is a fact and as I write, there are nine lives already lost this year due to domestic violence, and obviously, now, an additional three children. This is really disheartening.
We can only keep moving forward and try to help each other as much as we can. We have to look out for each other and ask “Are you okay?” Just ask it endlessly. It is not embarrassing. We have got to protect each other.
You can also dial 1-800-RESPECT for help and share with the police on any little red flags that you noticed. Any little red flag has to be spoken about because a little red flag may and could turn into a big red flag in a short amount of time.
Heading onto seven and a half years since my incident, I’m still getting over the injuries that have been inflicted upon me. Poor Hannah, with what she went through and over 90 percent burns to her body, she survived long enough to reveal what had actually happened. It is a haunting story and we shouldn’t be living in that kind of fear every day. We should be able to send our children down the street to school or shops knowing they will be safe.
Things need to change, and I will have to pick myself up to keep going again. I know I will with your support, and I cannot thank you all enough for that. Sending my love out there to everyone. Let’s stand up, speak out, and work as a team. Let’s stop domestic violence together.
Hi Simone, your strength humbles us at SayNO2FamilyViolenceGlenelgShire, stay strong….
Tony South
I hear you Simone. 4 years ago I spilt from my ex narc who still continues to perpetuate violence…. I currently have DVO but do not feel safe. Im on hyper vigilant mode when out in public. He once told me he would slit his ex wifes throat and throw acid in her face. He told me her day would come. God knows what he has planned for me.
Anon, thank you for your message. ❤️ I’m really worried for you. Can you please go and speak to police or a service provider in your area. You need to get support and feel safe. I don’t like the thought that you are waiting to see what he is going to do to you next. Can you please do that for me. You have my full support. Regards Simone 🌺
I agree let’s start helping others
Hi Simone,
You are extraordinary, and women all around Australia are grateful for your advocacy. We are also grateful that you are able to tell your story and warn others, educate others and be a voice for those who are silenced in these circumstances.
I feel the same, I find myself lying awake at night thinking about Hannah, she must have been absolutely terrified and it hurts to know that she and her children would have felt so petrified.
I honestly have no idea what to say but that your feelings are warranted and I hope you and women all around the world are able to sleep more soundly in time.
Keep being awesome 💙
Please hang on to your enthusiasm for the future. We may not have met but I am sending you lot of positive wishes for the future ❤️
Hi Simone. Your strength is what will get you through. You are a survivor! As am I. My ex husband (who was abusive during our 15 year marriage) came to my house, that I had set up for my 3 children after leaving him, brandishing a knife. Sadly, but thankfully, he didn’t use it on me. Although I will never forget that vision, I am thankful that I am still alive today.
We need to be the voice for those that may not have one. We need to stand up and say enough is enough. Let’s band together and stand up for the women who aren’t able to. For those that weren’t as lucky as you and I.
My heart aches for Hannah and her children. We need to be their voice. Sending you much love. X
Thanks for sharing
That beautiful Family was killed by a Monster
It’s heart wrenching and I don’t know how to say this
I feel their Pain
It’s terrible what Hannah and her Children had to endure in their last Moments
I too go through a nasty separation it’s been going on since 2017 and January 2019 I finally left the Family Home with our 5 Kids …..
It’s been tuff but we are out
The Father makes everything difficult and wants me hurt
He still has that power over me that I get anxiety attacks even from his texts and letters from his lawyers
Last Monday I called the 1800Respect Helpline and Wednesday I went to the Police and right after to my Doctor who put me on Sleeping Pills (I haven’t slept for Month) and antidepressants to calm
I am the Mother of his 5 Children and I said to the Family Report Writer that he is a better Father then ever before as some of the things he had done have stopped but is he REALLY if he is treating me like I am nothing and wants me on the Ground with nothing.
We will get through this
Thank you Simone. Keep publishing those red flags however small they may be. It’s important for women to recognise them.
HEY Simone I think you are so very brave, don’t give up beautiful. The system is failing
and too many victims like yourself and Hannah are becoming statistics.
Things have to change and quickly.
We have too stop family domestic violence no matter what gender and age,I’m a survivor of child abuse by my biological mother and then a survivor of domestic violence and have my daughter by my side who is 9 and we now going through not FDV but by people who I refused and said no too moving in with death threats and now a week ago today we reconnected with my biological mother and got kicked out thinking she was keeping us safe but no the narcissist also financial wanted a 9 yr old payment of rent and utilities aswell me.More needs too be done with all safety welfare of the red flags a peice of paper is not going to stop know the signs get help call 1800respect.I also have a page on Facebook campaigning against domestic violence
I was in a very abusive relationship for 13 years, and I had to move to W. A. from the place I lived to be able to have somewhere to come back to and left him where we moved to, the system is shit, restraining orders are just a piece of paper, with me it was the fear of what could of happened to me and my children, and this sort of violence definitely effects the children, seeing your mother being abused, and alot of women live with this fear for along time in there life, but I believe that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, and sometimes it is hard but there is a positive in every situation and Simone stay strong and look forward is all you can do